an artist’s blog

The Flow

1/31/2020

12:37 pm ET

Sometimes, I feel incredibly lacking of creativity. I’m always questioning what really defines creativity and determines what makes a person “creative”.

creativity

/ˌkriːeɪˈtɪvɪti/

noun

the use of imagination or original ideas to create something; inventiveness.

I’m not sure if I’m a creative person. I find it hard to sit down and write, and even harder to sit down and come up with art ideas. When I first began drawing, I would use references to hone my skills, and had no trouble sitting in class drawing directly from my mind. I fought the idea of references as I improved, convinced it was depleting me of my originality and creativity. I’m still unsure. I know I’m an artist, but does that automatically hand me the title of “creative person”?

There are days when I’ll sit down with a piece of paper and scour my mind for an idea, anything to put down. It feels as if I am on a life boat in the middle of the ocean, and everywhere I look is a vast, open, empty space. I can think of things in these instances, but can not assign the idea enough weight to spend hours working on it. Normally on these days I’ll grab a fun picture I’ve saved and attempt to add a twist…a monochromatic color scheme, an extended feature, something to make it mine, something that allows me to claim it as an invention of my own. I’ve learned to combat these moments, days, weeks using this method. I find that I can really love these pieces and they teach me a lot about my technique. If I’m using a new medium or material I’ll use inspiring photos to get familiar, even though I sometimes feel these pieces lack creativity and honesty, it’s been the best way to explore new realms.

I think the fight inside my brain lies with the concept of reference art being “dishonest”. Of course it isn’t, and of course there is no written rule stating your talent is any less important or valid when using a direct photo. I use photos for my commission work, and am still able to find pride in the work, I also want to note that I think using photos as reference is an incredible tool. Lighting, contrast, and set up can be difficult to achieve without comparing it to real life (or in this case, a snippet of real life).

Alternatively, there are days when I’m overflowing with concepts, related to art, life, and all the other things that can fit inside the shoe box that is my brain. These are the days when I feel like a true creator. I feel powerful and motivated. It’s rare that I am feeling motivated without also feeling creative. I can take a concept and push it to it’s extreme, I can mold the ideas into something visual. These are the days where I look down and see something in front of me, and am so amazed that I was able to create that. I imagine it must be a similar feeling to looking at a newborn baby (/1000). To be productive, these days should be utilized to their full extent. I have a notebook that I tote around daily, and I feel I owe it to my self to write down these things when my mind is a faucet.