an artist’s blog

Balance

01/08/2020

3:08 pm ET

Life is about balance, right? The older I get the more important balance becomes. Maybe this is because we are constantly doing so many things, exploring endless multitasking, Balanced meals, balanced exercise routines, balanced relationships, balanced careers, balanced education, blah, blah, blah.

I’ve spent every second of every day balancing a few things - work, art, boyfriend, friends, family, animals, and myself. Some days I don’t recognize I’m handling it all, other times it feels like I’m carrying 1,500 lbs of water right on my shoulders.

Truly, balance is really amazing for the human body, brain, and soul. The healthiest body is a balanced body. How do we find balance, and more importantly - how do we stay there?

As a teenager I was riddled with anxiety. Constantly choking on my own fears and insecurities, ruining relationships with my own toxicity and unease. I often made up scenarios and allowed them to fester in my mind until I felt I had lost it. I was working, going to school, and in a horrible relationship. I didn’t sleep well, I ate like shit, I wasn’t spending time with my family or friends, and I had an unhealthy dependence on both work and my relationship at the time. I’m really only mentioning these dark times as a comparison/transitional message,

Today, I’m still anxious, but much more in control of my thoughts and emotions (it’s honestly so powerful). I’m working full time. I spend a few hours a week working on art, when I want to work on art. I see my family at least once a week and spend multiple nights out of the week with my closest friends. I see my boyfriend almost every night (and I could still go for more), and make the time to sit with my animals and just chat. I feel more balanced today than I have ever felt in my entire life, and it feels like things are going to continue leveling out as each day passes.

We could talk about my diet but give me until 2021 to publicly discuss my horrid eating habits.

I’m taking the time to acknowledge my balance and consider the growth I’ve seen in myself related to these changes. I think it’s important to sit down and think about where you have been compared to where you are now. Even if you aren’t quiet where you want to be, you have come so far from where you once were.

Everyday we’re growing as people, every interaction, conversation, emotion alters us in ways we don’t recognize. To me, aiming for happiness is aiming for balance. Being an artist comes second to being human.